Fresh Starts

A lot of changes happening in the Van Vliet household! Where to even start?
~I guess I can start with our house. My husband and I bought our home when we were 20, just married and both working. We knew then that it was an investment for us and not a forever home. Once we found out we were pregnant with Aubrie and that God was calling me to stay home, we trusted that God would help make the finances work... and it has 'worked' the past 2 years but we have been on the look out for a different home that would suit us better not only financially but also to give us freedom to do more as a family together. My husband is an extremely hard worker (like 60-70+ hours a WEEK hard) and when he is home, we all just want to relax together. We have been praying for about a year for an answer to our finances/time together. Last week, we got our answer! We will be buying a townhouse (no yard work for hubs, a pool, close parks, a bike trail) in the town my hubby grew up in.. close to a lot of family, closer to church, and much much more affordable for us. I am SO looking forward to being debt free other than our home and able to put money away, take our girls to do fun things, and most of all, just not worry! We will buy another home again when the time is right.. let's face it when we have time/money for the upkeep of a home and when the girls are a little older.


~Today was a hard day. My oldest was having a hard time listening and I've been busy packing so the morning was already off to a rough start. Aubrie and our dog Missy were running around playing like normal and all of a sudden I heard Missy growl and I couldn't get to Aubrie fast enough and Missy had nipped her hand. I ran to grab Missy to put her outside and she proceeded to bite my hand. Aubrie was of course terrified and hysterical, I was furious. This is so unlike her.. she has been great with both babies, so patient, and we really have not had to worry about her. I knew after this happened that we just could not in good conscience keep her around our babies..(if anyone hurts my babies they are out obviously) so I had to take her to the shelter. It was so so hard and I'm sitting here worrying about her but feel like my hands are tied because I would never put my babies in any danger and they are much more important than an animal. Dogs truly do become part of the family though and I didn't think I'd have such a hard time.


~In other news, I've been slowly weaning Emma.  I nursed Aubrie for 13 months.. baby led weaning..everything. My nursing journey with Emma has not been as pleasant.. much more difficult with a 2 year old running around, a few infections, Emma still not sleeping well at night because she's wanting to nurse constantly. I thought I'd try a couple days of formula and so far it has gone great! She's 6 months now and that was my goal with her.. to at least make it to 6 months. So far, she's on a better sleeping and eating schedule which is essential for me at home with both of them and making our nights much better because I can actually get sleep, making me a much more patient Mommy during the day. O glorious, uninterrupted sleep... you truly don't know how precious sleep is until you never seem to get it. ;)

~Here's some recent iphone pics of our days! Enjoy!

The recipes out of this book are amazing!

Beauty

Gotta love Target

We've all had a cold for 4 weeks now. Ick.

Aubrie put Emma's headband on her ;)

No I never leave her side if she's on the counter in the Bumbo. :)

Sweet pink baby toe nails

First solids

Paleo Dinners

First french braids

With Papa

Aubrie likes to feed her baby too

Aubrie told me this was Mommy rocking Emma. I think someday she'll be an artist.

Can you tell we've been talking about the potty?

Waiting for Beppe

More yummy Paleo Dinners!

Matching babies make me happy ;)

We had Nanny over for a tea party

I truly did not mean to coordinate them for church on this day.

"Bye Mommy! See you later!"

Going to Nanny's house!

Shopping day!

"Just like Mommy! Both have strollers! Both have wheels!" Melt. my. heart.

Give Yourself Some Grace!

Being a Mama is hard work! It takes complete selflessness, more energy than you knew you had, sleepless nights, no sick days, constant cleaning up, constant self-evaluation!

I wouldn't trade all of that for anything because along with it comes indescribable joy and love I never imagined possible.

This pregnancy has been more difficult than my first. I wasn't this sick for this long, this exhausted, less migraines, and no toddler waiting for me to make their day whether I feel well or not :). I was looking around my house today and noticing all of the undone laundry, toys everywhere you could think of and then some, dirty dishes, grocery shopping needing to be done etc.. {not the first time I noticed, this is a daily thing :)}.. for a second I felt defeated and thought, 'How am I ever going to catch up?I feel like all I do is clean and this keeps happening!' Then I felt God give me peace and speak grace into my heart. This is just a season. I won't always feel like this. I should just slow down and enjoy these last few months alone with my girl because soon there will be another little one to share my love with. So, I forgot about the laundry I was folding, took Aubrie to her room, and we played on the floor for an hour. Read books, put her babies and animals 'nighnigh' and read the same books again. :) Fun for both of us, nothing else to think about but being together. That's what's important. Your house chores can wait. Spending time with your babies is what's important!

If you're feeling overwhelmed or defeated give yourself some grace! Taking care of everyone but yourself is not an easy task so just slow down and enjoy time with those you love, the rest will get taken care of.. eventually! Maybe it's time to re-evaluate your schedule and cut some things out, whatever God lays on your heart, do it!

 (To my surprise I found energy somewhere and am now sitting with a picked up house, folded laundry, and a happily fulfilled baby sleeping...yay!)

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness."  2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

"Spirit-Led Parenting"

Does that title grab your attention?! It did for me! A friend recommended this book and though I haven't read it, I fully intend to! Here's one of the quotes from the description that made me think.

"The right way to parent a new baby was one that could never be fully captured in a set of instructions; rather, it was a way that meant stepping out into the freedom of following what we know to be best for our own children." 

I wasn't one that worried much about the different 'styles' or 'theories' of raising babies. I just felt that God had me exactly where HE wanted me and have always felt like I was made to be a Mommy. I felt those natural instincts without hesitation.... until I would get well meaning advice from others :). 

Aubrie was a very 'easy' baby. She always has had such a sweet spirit. Never fussed or cried much, took on nursing without problems, was happy pretty much as long as she was with me! I wore her or held her constantly, secretly I had a very hard time sharing her when others came to visit and wanted to hold her, I just couldn't get close enough to my sweet girl! I will be forever grateful for every second I spent snuggling her! I will never get that time back with her and I don't regret not having a super organized house/dinners/laundry/ blah blah blah for those first few months. 

Our only problem was sleeping. That girl did not want to sleep.. ever! :) At first I just assumed it was normal, which it was for a time. We co-slept most of the time and I loved it! (So did she. This was the only way her and I could get sleep so I took advantage of it!) If we weren't co sleeping it was just never ending trips across the house to her room, pretty much every 1-3 hours. Man was I tired! I felt like a zombie most of the time and now I can't even remember a lot from those months! You know why I endured those miserable nights a lot of the time? Because others around me told me their babies were in their cribs in their own rooms by ___ months and Aubrie was older than them so she should be able to do it. If I didn't do it now she would be in our bed until she was 5 and it would be detrimental to our marriage. I should read Baby-Wise, I should let her cry it out, I should wean her, I should start solids or quit solids, I should get more 'me' time and get her used to comforting herself, get her on a different more strict schedule, ... the list goes on and on and on... and on.

While I know people were trying to help when their advice didn't work or I didn't feel comfortable taking it, I had moments of feeling like a failure. Why did it seem like every other baby I knew slept so well? Why did they take bottles and she refused?

I started reading articles from Dr. Sears about Attachment Parenting and felt so much more at ease. He said it was ok and actually encouraged wearing baby as much as possible, baby led nursing, co-sleeping, not letting them cry it out etc.. all of the things I realized felt natural to me. (I don't know why reading these things in a book validated what God had already laid on my heart, but self-assurance is hard work!)

Once I realized/worked these things out with God, so much pressure was lifted off! Who cares what works for so and so? If I don't feel it's best for us then o well. You know your baby better than anyone... no matter how much experience/kids they have. Trust your instincts. Ask for help when you need it from those you trust, but don't feel like a failure if it doesn't work for you! God made each of us different with different needs, different ways to love, different ways to parent. That doesn't mean something different is wrong, just not for you.

Update to now at 16 months- Aubrie sleeps strictly in her own bed, doesn't ever want to co sleep which I miss, but am also so happy she's well rested! At 13 months I started putting her to bed at 6pm.. so early right? But guess what.. she started sleeping through the night (like 13 hours straight) and naturally started taking one nap at the same time every day. Amazing that once I started trusting the mommy instincts God gave me and stopped caring about what others thought about it or did that my biggest obstacle was out of my way.

Don't be afraid to embrace the freedom of 'Spirit Led Parenting'... it's amazing to take the confidence you know you have and not be afraid of it.

*Title taken from the book Spirit Led Parenting:Overcoming the Fear of Freedom by Megan Tietz and Laura Oyer. You can buy it here